One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.
Glycine rex: Birth Control Pills




Some medications can reduce the effectiveness of birth control pills. Tell every physician who gives you medication that you are taking oral contraceptives. Use a back up method, such as foam or condoms, when you use any of the following medications and herbal remedies:

There is no evidence that any kind of hormonal birth control, like the depo shot, nuva ring, patch or IUDs are affected by antibiotics.

Thanks for the info! I wasn’t sure so I just figure better safe than sorry. Definitely good to know though!

"No evidence"?? According to the Mayo Clinic:

The effects of antibiotics on birth control pills may be overstated — except in the case of one antibiotic, rifampin (Rimactane). Studies clearly show that rifampin decreases the effectiveness of birth control pills in preventing ovulation. However, rifampin isn’t used widely today.

There is NO reason to take risks while there is still uncertainty in the medical community. (Or ever.) Use condoms if you’re taking antibiotics and on the pill. 

(Source: the-loveologist)

Gonorrhea Superbug: First Antibiotic-Resistant STD Strain Discovered



Scientists have found the first “superbug” strain of gonorrhea — a discovery they’re calling “both alarming and predictable.”

Found in Japan, the H041 strain is resistant to the class of antibiotics, called cephalosporins, commonly used to treat the STD.

This could “transform a once easily treatable infection into a global public health threat,” reports Reuters.

Gonorrhea has become increasingly resistant to antibiotics for several years now, and the percentage of cephalosporin-resistant gonorrhea cases in the U.S. is on the rise, according to the CDC’s latest Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report.


This is rill important. Take your health and that of your partner(s) seriously. Safer sex is sexy. Get tested. If you’re scared to go alone, bring your best friend and get tested together. Get tested with your lover. Just do it.

Will always reblog public health topics. If you’re sexually active you should be getting tested yearly; according to my roommate (a social work major who’s focusing on sexual health issues) people who tend to have many partners in a short span of time, or who sleep with someone who does, should look at getting tested every six months. And sexually active means any activity that involves coming into contact with another person’s genitals or bodily fluids, not just intercourse!

(Source: glossylalia)

Porn Addict or Selfish Bastard? Life Is More Complicated Than That


I’m seeing an epidemic of “porn addiction” in my office. Not of porn addiction, but of “porn addiction.”

Here’s how it looks: Wife/girlfriend somehow assumes that husband/boyfriend does NOT watch porn (guess that’s what she means by “he’s one in a million”). One day, his porn watching comes to her attention (he leaves something on the screen, she searches his website history, he gets an email or bill from some friendly porn site, etc.).

She freaks.

She decides what his porn watching “means”:
* He doesn’t care for her
* He’s been faking sexual desire or enjoyment
* He’d rather be with other women (or men, or kangaroos, or whatever he’s been watching)
* He’s a pervert
* He’s unfaithful

Needless to say, these interpretations make his porn watching her business. And frequently, she decides she has the moral high ground from which to dictate what his problem is, the fact that he must get it fixed, and what the treatment needs to be. With slight variations, a new version of this case walks into my office almost every week.

 In a different world, Mr. Porn Consumer would turn to Outraged Wife/Girlfriend and say “Wow, I can see that you’re really upset about what I’m watching. Let’s talk about it and see what we can do.” In the real world, however, most men are so loaded down with shame about their sexuality that the second their partner attacks them for watching porn, they collapse and allow their partner to seize control of the relationship.

She then drags him into my office so I can fix the poor guy. I’m supposed to turn him into a non-perverted, non-selfish, non-hiding, aroused-by-her-and-only-her ex-porn consumer.

I understand that some guys really have a problem with porn (I see these guys more than most therapists): some watch way too much, some have abandoned their partners emotionally, some think porn depicts real life (yeah, like the NBA depicts your local gym). But most guys who watch porn just, well, watch porn. And of course they hide it from their partner—because they assume their partner will hit the roof if she finds out.

While some women don’t, too many do. And these days they have a choice: they can decide their man is a selfish bastard, or they can give him the dignity of a medical problem—“porn addiction” (as a bonus, she acquires the dignity of suffering with a partner who’s ill.” A lot of guys like the disease option, too. If a wife claims that porn use is infidelity, if a girlfriend claims that porn use means he isn’t attracted to her, a disease is a good place to hide. It’s like a high school dropout being busted for car theft—and choosing to join the army instead of going to jail.

How much of the woman’s pain is really about him masturbating (the reason he uses porn, of course)? A lot of women insist that “as long as I’m sexually available to him, he has no reason to masturbate.” When pressed on this, they say he has no RIGHT—“he shouldn’t take his sexuality outside the relationship,” as if they’re jealous of his right hand.

If a woman has complaints about a guy’s behavior-he calls her the wrong name or daydreams during sex, never wants to talk about anything, checks his phone during dinner—those are legitimate grievances that need addressing. Couples therapy is a great place to do that. But if her complaint is simply that he uses porn, which she finds disgusting or confusing, that doesn’t give her the power to ban his hobby, or force him to defend it.

You can get a guy to promise to give up porn, and some guys actually will. You can even get a guy to promise to give up masturbating. A few actually will. The rest will do what they did when they were 14—they’ll do it in secret, feel bad about it, and hope they won’t get caught. And so a life of lying about sex continues. You can imagine what that will do to the couple’s closeness.

Sadly, some women will continue to blame the porn, rather than examine how they’ve used coercion to undermine intimacy.

I genuinely hope that the internet is helping to shape a generation of women who are comfortable with the idea of porn, but you can’t leave religious education out of this discussion. Even after leaving religion about 5 years ago, it took me years of self-education to get to the sex-positive views I have now. When you have churches telling people to wait until marriage to have sex, and preaching entire sermons about the evils of porn (I lost count of how many of those I heard when I was still a Christian), and a culture centered around total monogamy to the point where “why are you checking out that girl” is an acceptable, normal question to ask in the mall or wherever, uh, yeah, peopleare going to see porn as a massive problem and an instance of infidelity.

Recall that Jesus said if you lust after a woman in your heart you’ve as good as committed adultery with her. Think about that for a second. That’s the mindset of most people (remember around 76% of Americans are Christian, and only about 12 to 15% publicly identify as non-religious) going into these counselling sessions. If a wife/girlfriend is bringing him in for “porn addiction” chances are she’s not willing to see this as her problem, period, full stop.

Things my roommate does for fun: roam around the Trojan website and discover that it publishes an annual College Sexual Health Report Card. 
And then remembers to go back a year later and see how we did this time. 

Things my roommate does for fun: roam around the Trojan website and discover that it publishes an annual College Sexual Health Report Card. 

And then remembers to go back a year later and see how we did this time.